October 2011
1 post
thisonegoes asked: Hey how are things going? You've been pretty quiet lately - Everything all right?
September 2011
23 posts
Cosmetics tip for the ladies
If you have problems with chipped nail polish, use automotive touch-up paint. That shit never comes off!
1 tag
domoarigatoladyroboto replied to your chat: Opening of Rifftrax of The Matrix
That is a good one. Hell, they’re all good ones.
My favorites are
Jurassic Park
LOTR
Ocean’s Eleven
D-War
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Harry Potter
Eragon
Opening of Rifftrax of The Matrix
Mike: So, what is The Matrix?
Kevin: It's not important. Just watch.
Mike: Botanists consider soil to be a matrix. Is this a soil-based movie?
Kevin: Shh, they're setting up the film.
Mike: How about the car? You have to admit it's a Matrix.
Kevin: That would be 'a' Matrix, not 'The' Matrix.
Mike: My cousin has one and he calls his "The Matrix."
Kevin: Would you please just watch?
Mike: It is a Matrix.
Kevin: You'll find out. Just watch.
1 tag
meyechael replied to your post: What we love belongs to us.
you need to up the dose on your meds dude
If you’re passing out prescriptions I’m in!
What we love belongs to us.
I’m visiting my home town this weekend. I haven’t been there in about 15 years. I was thinking about it and worrying I would be an outsider. Then I got all indignant at the fictional people ostracizing me. It’s my home town. Mine. MINE!!! I grew up there and I have memories of there. Those memories serve as a property deed of the soul.
Then I was thinking about how we feel all...
For those about to rock
1 tag
thisonegoes replied to your photo: Alternate design.
I really like this one - it’s got a little more pop culture to it
Thanks! I need to find an artist working in metal to get these stricken.
Which of you aren't following me?
It’s so hard to figure out without the plugin.
Recommendation for people on Netflix
Kevin Spencer
Am I the only one?
I pronounce GIF with a soft g. Not like the peanut butter, but like saying ‘fig’ backward.
And am I the only one who thinks ‘soft g’ sounds filthy?
Horoscope
Contemplate domestic turmoil; abandon hope for future plans.
Can a woman with a bald pussy still get crabs?
Happy Labor Day!!
1 tag
Yup. That's a human ear, alright.
Blue Velvet
I feel like a chump
For breaking it off with her so quickly. I did it to spare her feelings. Because I felt like I would be taking advantage of her to continue. But I could be kissing right now. And if I’d pretended to like her more, I might have gotten laid. But no. So many people are in relationships for selfish reasons. I’ll never get what I want if I don’t go after what I want. Honor and...
Favorite movie quotes
“Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”
- Unforgiven
“People eye!”
- The Fifth Element
“Shit! Fuck! Piss! He’s got my brain! … That’s my fucking brain!”
- Brain Dead
“Put the fucking lotion in the basket!”
- Silence of the Lambs
A whole bag of Snyder's Honey Mustard & Onion...
“None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you....”
– Rorschach
August 2011
82 posts
1 tag
goodybrains replied to your post: Things I could have said to help my case but that I thought would have been hurtful
I completely understand what you mean. Physical attraction or crush lust only goes so deep. You need someone who can challenge you, and this girl wasn’t going to do that. But now you at least have this experience under your belt.
Heh heh. You said under my belt.
Things I could have said to help my case but that...
I don’t like you
You’re not interesting
You’re not weird enough for me (this one I thought of after hanging up and I kind of wish I’d said)
You’re too ordinary
Turns out I'm lovable
All my life I’ve believed the opposite to be true.
1 tag
You don't wanna date me no more?
It’s done. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was still surprising her reaction to my statement that we aren’t right for each other. She wanted me to explain and tell her what she did wrong and things like that. She was insistent that I don’t know her well enough yet, that now that I’ve told her my concerns, we can move forward and grow. I had to be firm that I...
Spluh
smackofham asked: You listed doubts about your girl friend and also some very positive things - sounds like a normal relationship. Since you haven't had a serious relationship yet, why not take this one as far as it will go? You will both know if it works over time. All the best...
Is it possible to be figuratively surprised?
ch8rming asked: Sounds like your gut instinct that she isn't the one is the right instinct to follow.
3 tags
What a mess
The date was good. We had a good time over a meal and then Trivia Night, which was fun enough. We spent some time alone on the patio of the restaurant and made out a little. We got in the car and made out some more. I got inside her shirt. And she touched my special purpose, if only briefly and through my jeans.
She wants a commitment before we go any further physically. I find that a strange...
Welp, I'm off to my date.
Wish me luck!
Nosejob
Means something different when I do it.
For Michelle
This is not how you’re s’posed to smoke.
1 tag
I see how it is...
My sandwich got more love than my lonely peen. Story of my peen’s life.
Getting to know you
It’s a wonderful time of exploration and discovery. But sometimes I wish it would hurry up and get done because no one’s touched my whipper in years.
2 tags
rebelliousqi replied to your post: Here’s what happened
whoa man, seriously? this is awesome! I’m stoked for ya!
Yeah, dude. Serious. I’m stoked too. Thanks!
futurelotterywinner replied to your post: Here’s what happened
I call first dibs on smelling your fingers after Thursday’s date.
I’ll cut off my finger and fedex it to you.
Here's what happened
I met her outside the doctor’s office. We were both waiting to see someone. We started talking. I made sure to touch her leg when I said I was just joking about that one thing. She said she was buying a car and had a relative in the car industry. I said I’m looking for a car too and asked for her number. I gave her mine. We talked awhile. That night she called me to tell me her...
1 tag
I kissed a girl
A lot.
Because I'm smooth
Her: My male roommate hasn't hit on me at all.
Me: He must be gay.
Her: Teehee.
Looked at the clock. It was six in the morning.
itsallinmyheaditsallinmyheaditsallinmyheaditsallinm...
The Gravel Knock Knock Joke
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Gravel.
Gravel who?
...um.... Knock, knock.
*sigh* Who's there?
Gra.
Gra who?
Gravel.
Fuck off.
Liquor stores in the hood are "bad racial...